Loneliness is increasingly becoming part of life in these modern times. The loneliness epidemic affects people from all walks of life, but it’s especially hard on the elderly. I was chatting with one of my older neighbours, Reginald (not his real name), a while back in his living room and listened as he reminisced about the good old days when he was the life of the party and had friends to spare. We have this conversation often when I visit. He always tells me stories of how much fun the East End was in his days, the best pubs in the area, the shady characters, and more. I sometimes feel my friend, Uncle Reg, as I call him,  garnishes things a bit, but I’d listen attentively and ask questions because I know he needs the conversation. 

Reginald is in his late 80s now and talks about how lonely things have become. Most of his friends are either late or moved on to supported living accommodation. However, my friend is a fiercely independent and proud Jamaican man who prefers to live in his own house. No supported living for him, thank you. I remember him telling me a few years ago that many of his good friends had moved back to the Caribbean on retirement, but he stayed behind because his wife didn’t want to leave the U.K.

But now, he’s alone, having lost his wife a few years ago. Sometimes, he says to me half-jokingly in his booming voice, “Pastor, I need me a wife,” I’d retort, “You’d better leave the ladies alone, Uncle Reg,” and we’d laugh. It wasn’t as if my dear friend didn’t have children, but they were so busy living their own lives. 

Reginald has tried going out a few times to meet other people of his generation, but his arthritis is quite painful and keeps him indoors most of the time. Besides, he tells me old people are made to feel invisible in Newham. People treat him rather brusquely when he asks for help, he says. So, most of the time, Uncle Reg stays at home and only has a television for company. It is discomforting to think that there are many life my friend in our community. This should not be. 

Sadly, the trouble with loneliness doesn’t stop at not having anyone to have a meaningful conversation with; according to the National Health Service, loneliness can also lead to stress, anxiety, and depression. I feel terrible thinking that an older person may be stuck in the house with such emotional difficulties. Our community really must do better.

If you’re reading this and you find yourself, or someone you know, in a situation of persistent loneliness, here is one thing I’d like you to know: God does care for the lonely. He sees you; you are never alone. That’s why the Bible says to all who trust in God, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8, just in case you’re wondering where to find this in the Bible.

Finding Help

If you need help, please get in touch with the NHS via Help for Loneliness. If you need assistance in the London Borough of Newham, organisations such as the Hibiscus Community Centre will offer a listening ear and practical help. AgeUK in East London is also a fabulous organisation to contact. And for those who are not very mobile, there are many options to help you get up and about. There’s more information on accessible transport at Newham Adult Social Care.

A final tip is to contact your local church. Many churches offer home visits and have plenty of activities for older people. And you don’t have to worry about not being a churchgoer—the church welcomes everyone. So, if you are looking for a church nearby, you can use the free Find a Church website. Give it a try.